How To Not Care

Careless. Care less.

Those are two different words that mean two different things. The problem is that we mix the two up, and confuse them for each other.

To be careless is bad. It is to not give sufficient attention to something, leading to errors and problems. If you’re driving, for example, it would be careless of you to not keep your eyes on the road. A simple loss of concentration could be catastrophic. Don’t be careless.

To care less meanwhile is not bad. This article intends to teach you how to care less and lead a better life.  To care less is to free yourself from the shackles of burdens and care that overwhelms you. You’d be surprised that most of the things that drain your peace, health and wellbeing are things you could easily let go of if you would!

You lose everything by holding on to them and lose nothing by letting them go. It’s not just the wise option to let it go; it’s the only option!

There’s an old, but interesting story told by an influential man, whose mother had a strange habit. Whenever he (or any of his siblings) were traveling from home, as teenagers, the mum was always anxious about receiving a call with the tragic news of a fatal crash. So, she always stayed by the telephone, trembling with fear, till she receives a call, from her child, of safe arrival. She then heaves a sigh of relief and continues her day normally. Until someone is about to travel again.

That’s no way to live! That’s simply robbing yourself of your years through needless care. To a caring mother, it may sound unreasonable to tell you to show no care that your child may be hurt on a journey. But it is actually unreasonable to care. Why? There’s not a damn thing you can do about it from where you are! Or, there’s something you can do: DO NOT CARE!

You will live a better life that way. It’s not being careless. It’s being reasonable.

You have a right to be happy, always

Believe it or not, you have a right to be happy, always. One of the greatest virtues every human aspires to is selflessness. At the root of every great accomplishment lies selflessness.

From philanthropy to charity, from fighting for social justice, freedom and equality, to volunteering to help the needy; humans aspire to the ideal of living for others at the expense of themselves. While selflessness is a great virtue, and selfishness is not, the right to be happy has been underestimated.

The very foundation of the United States, in its declaration of independence, lists Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness as inalienable rights of all citizens. Either the founding fathers of the greatest nation in the history of the world wanted citizens to be selfish, or they cracked a great code for a living.

Interestingly, the pursuit of happiness is listed in the same breath as Life and Liberty.

Why is this important?

Care, burdens and worries rob you of the opportunity to pursue your happiness. You can’t start living or enjoying your God-given liberty until you can pursue what makes you happy.

I can tell you one thing that won’t let you: worries.

That’s why how to not care is a great manual for your happiness.

Five Simple Rules of Happiness

Although the original author is unknown, these five simple rules of happiness are time-tested and have passed from generation to generation. They are a classic in not caring and living life to the fullest.

They are:

  1. Free your heart from hatred.
  2. Free your mind from worries.
  3. Live simply.
  4. Give more.
  5. Expect less.

How do these rules help?

Simple.

Rule 1 frees you from the greatest vice: hatred. You hate something or someone because you care too much. Nothing is deserving of such energy from you. Hatred robs you of your peace of mind. So someone you think is undeserving is getting a lot of accolades? So what? Why get worked up over someone else’s opinions. Or you’ve been deeply hurt by a person? Even if you find it hard forgiving, you can simply walk away from it, can’t you?

It takes guts to not care. It takes courage to despise the pain. It takes strength to damn the consequences and face the music. It’s a huge waste of time to spend a lot of energy hating on another person who could be having the best time of his or her life somewhere else.

If you decide to free yourself from hatred, you may seem unreasonable, but you’ll be better off for it.

Rule 2 is pretty straightforward. Stop worrying. A huge chunk of what we worry about never happens. And the time spent worrying is wasted forever. As long as you’re not careless about anything, as long as you’ve done what is expected of you, do not care!

Rule 3 helps in untangling your life. Trying to meet the expectations of society puts too much pressure on you. You shouldn’t buy what you don’t need just because you are under pressure to do so. Live simply by prioritizing what is important, and ignore the rest

Rule 4 teaches on giving more. Especially to those in need. You’ll find greater happiness by making someone happy. Not by trying to impress anyone. Those who try to always impress others will always fall short. But if you genuinely seek out the happiness of others through what you give, from what you have, you will be happier.

Rule 5 tells you to expect less. So you are not hurt? That way you can manage disappointment better. If others still sulk over things that you’ve moved on from, it’s not because you’re careless, it’s because you are care less, and expect less from people.

Why you should Not Care

Here are few steps, are why you should throw caution to the wind, sometimes.

What is done is done

The desire to have a perfect life is universal. But the reality is that life will never be a bed of roses. There will be ups and downs, victories and defeats, successes and failures. In simple terms, life happens, and there’s little you can do about it.

When something unpleasant is likely to happen, and you can do something to avert it, try not to be careless, and do it. When you are at no fault and something unpleasant happens, you need to realize that what is done is done. Trying to undo what has been done is the greatest reason for a troubled life. You may try to correct what has been done, but you must accept that what is done is done.

You need your life to meet life’s targets

In the desire to meet targets, you are likely to get yourself overworked. Nothing has a toll on your mental health like mounting targets. Remember that no target is worth your life. If you are under enormous pressure and you break down, your task will most likely be reassigned!

A simple way out would be to renegotiate the terms, for an extended period, or reduce the tasks. You’d be amazed at how much this would improve your mental health. However, if you meet with a stonewall during such negotiation, I will give you foolproof advice: walk away. Your health is too precious to toy with. After all, you need good health to meet any targets.

No one is a Judge of you

“You’re incompetent!”

“You’re the worst person I’ve ever hired!”

“You can never go far in life!”…

We’ve all encountered that one person who sat as a Judge and passed a sweeping damning verdict on us. Most likely, a boss.

Newsflash: no one, not even your boss, is qualified to judge you.

Some people have improved greatly with a change of environment. Others have discovered that they are being held down by the same persons who criticized them the most. One healthy way to handle such rejection is to remember that your life cannot be defined by the opinion of one person.

If you’re sure you’re in the right job, and you’re giving it your best shot, you’ll need to look yourself in the mirror and love what you see, regardless of what you’ve been told. No one person’s opinion of you is final. (PS, a change of environment does wonders. That may be what your productivity needs.)

No goal is cast in stone

Goals can be re-set. Perhaps you’ve set a target for yourself, and it’s looking like you would fall short. Well, it happens to the best of us. Give yourself a break! Goals motivate us to do more, but no goal must be met compulsorily.

You can re-evaluate your timeframe, but don’t wear yourself out trying to achieve every goal in the set time. Many would take longer, while some would never be met. Give it your best shot, but don’t be discouraged when you fail. Dust yourself up, and try again.

One part of your life should not ruin other (great) parts

You have a great job, a great family and live in a great neighborhood. You almost have a perfect life, but for one thing! Maybe an ex, or a colleague, or a sibling… there’s that one thing that remains the proverbial pain in the butt that shows up and ruins everything. Or maybe it’s a major part of your life, like your marriage, or a family relationship, or a client, that drains whatever joy you have. Well, you should know that you shouldn’t give any part of your life such power to be able to ruin every other part. Every part of your life that constantly causes pain can be cut off. You deserve to have a great life. How to do that? Check the next point

You can quit!

“I quit!”

Those words were etched on the walls as one frustrated student took his own life in the Indian blockbuster “Three Idiots”, a classic movie on how best to not give a damn. He surrendered to the pressure of academy expectations and his inability to meet them. And he quit. But in the wrong way.

You can quit if you can’t cope by simply walking away. No opportunity is too great to walk away from if the pressure is too high. It’s a bold decision to quit, when you still can than to wait till you have no choice. Show yourself some care, by showing you don’t care. Quit that abusive relationship today. Walk away while you still have a choice!

Your freedom is precious

Freedom is such an amazing concept that wars have been fought just to keep people free. Curiously, people willingly surrender their freedoms just to please others. You’re free to say no to anything and anyone at any time. We are only afraid because we are not willing to face the music for daring to not care! Sometimes, to remain free, you’ll have to fight for your freedom.

So, how exactly do you give the middle finger to your cares?

How To Not Care

Reject anything that doesn’t put you in charge

Beware of lies that can enslave. If it takes your freedom away, say No, and don’t care. Even if you’re called unreasonable. There should be only one controller in your life: you!

Walk away

This point can’t be emphasized well enough. It is never too late to walk away. You may be bruised and deflated, but you can walk away before you sink. Even if it eventually proves costly, if you walk away from abuse and pain, the gain can’t be quantified.

Take a break, spoil yourself

So you’ve worked up, and tired, and don’t know what next to do, even with a load of unfinished business. Here’s a suggestion: take a break. You don’t need to be given one. Take it! If you’re not given, remember, you can walk away! Sometimes, all you need is a getaway into some luxury. When last did that happen? You see, you can’t remember? Leave everything, take off, and give yourself a treat no one else would give. It may seem unreasonable, but, who cares?

Face the music

Yes, face the music! If you decide to take charge of your life, you’ll face opposition from many quarters. Don’t fear to face those who don’t want you to be free. Until you’re willing to stand up to bullies, you’re not willing to be free.

Try again

And again. And again. Learn how to start afresh. If you read biographies of successful people, you’ll find many stories of triumphs that came after multiple failures. It certainly is not over for you. You can try again. And you will win.

Apply the rules of happiness

Just scroll up a bit, and re-read the five simple rules of living a truly happy life. Free your heart from hatred and worries. Live simply, give more and expect less. I tell you, it works!

Don’t give a damn!

After all, it is said and done, you can look at your life, regardless of people’s opinions, and tell yourself: “I rock”

Even if you don’t believe it, say it. Because it’s true. Don’t ever give a damn about whatever anyone else has to say. Just do your best, and free yourself of worries. And if anyone says you’re not who you believe you are, just remember, who cares?

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