90 Funny Golf Quotes to Share With Your Friends

What do you think about funny golf quotes? Are they useful or useless?

Golf is a sport that has become very popular over the years. People love to play golf because it gives them time to relax and enjoy themselves. The game also helps improve their fitness levels and social skills.

Golf is a great way to spend quality time with friends and family. If you want to share some fun golf quotes with your friends, then check out these funny golf quotes.

Funny Golf Quotes

1. “The best thing about golf is that there are no rules.” – Arnold Palmer

2. “I don’t know what I’m doing here. I just got in from playing golf.” – Jack Nicklaus

3. “If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.” – Tiger Woods

4. “There’s nothing like walking down 18th fairway with a beer in one hand and a hot dog in the other.” – Lee Trevino

5. “You can always tell when someone hits a good shot on the course. It makes all the others look better.” – Gary Player

6. “When you get up in the morning and you realize that you’re going to be spending the rest of your life doing exactly what you were afraid you’d have to do in the first place, why bother getting out of bed?” – Hunter S. Thompson

7. “It may sound strange, but if you’ve never been beaten by a woman, you haven’t played enough golf.” – Ben Hogan

8. “A man who plays badly is usually a poor golfer; a man who plays well is almost certainly a bad golfer.” – Bobby Jones

9. “Good players make good shots, and good shots are made under pressure.” – Byron Nelson

10. “I am convinced that the average golfer thinks more about his swing than any other aspect of the game.” – Sam Snead

11. “If you can’t laugh at yourself, you’ll cry for sure.” – George Burns

12. “I’ve had a lot of practice hitting into trees, so I guess I must be pretty good at it.” – Walter Hagen

13. “Practice doesn’t make perfect, only perfect practice makes perfect.” – Tom Brady

14. “I was taught that the secret to a good golf swing was to keep your mind on the ball.” – Jack Nicklaus”

15. “The most important part of the game is to learn how to lose.” – Ben Crenshaw

16. “I try to hit every drive as though my wife will die if she hears me fart.” – Johnny Miller

17. “I don’t care much for people who say they hate golf. They probably hate life too.” – Bob Hope

18. “I feel sorry for those who don’t play golf. They miss out on the greatest feeling in the world.” – Arnold Palmer

19. “I didn’t come here to win any tournaments, I came here to have fun.” – Jack Nicklaus (on winning the Masters)

20. “I believe that you should never let your right arm hang limp until after you have finished swinging your club.” – Mark O’Meara

21. “My father used to say: ‘Son, if you’re going to be a golfer, you might as well be a damn good one.’ He said it often enough that I finally believed him.” – Jack Nicklaus

22. “I’ve learned that if you really want to see an amazing sight, take a golf lesson.” – David Feherty

23. “The worst thing you can do is not enjoy yourself while you’re playing golf.” – Jack Whitaker

24. “I’ve been told that I have a very short fuse. But I think that’s because I’m always trying to beat the record for the longest putt ever.” – Mark O’ Meara

25. “Golf is a great sport, but it’s also a great business. You need to know both sides.” – Jack Nicklaus

26. “I’ve got three rules for golf. Golfing rule number one, never complain. Golfing rule number two, never explain. And golfing rule number three, never pick up another club.” – Gary McCord

27. “I just love the way a golf course looks from the tee box.” – Cary Middlecoff

28. “You can’t teach someone to be a champion. It takes years and years of hard work and dedication. You either have it or you don’t.” – Tiger Woods

29. “There’s no such thing as a free lunch. Except maybe on a golf course.” – Peter Jacobsen

30. “When I first started playing golf, I could barely get the ball within 10 feet of the hole. Now I can hardly ever miss.” – Charles Barkley

Quotes About Golf From Famous People

31. “I like to play golf when I’m drinking beer. That way I don’t have to worry about driving home drunk.” – Jimmy Demaret

32. “I’ve played with some of the best golfers in the world, and I’ve seen them all go through their swings. The only thing that separates the greats from the rest is luck.” – Lee Trevino

33. “I am not a golfer. I am a golfer’s friend.” – Bobby Jones

34. “If God wanted us to fly he would have given us wings.” – Walter Hagen

35. “I’d rather watch television than play golf!” – Sam Snead

36. “It’s not what you score, it’s how you play the round.” – Jack Nicklaus(On his scoring average)

37. “What I love about golf is that it’s so simple. There are four shots in golf. If you make all of them, you win the game.” – Ben Hogan

38. “I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth and I intend to keep it there.” – Byron Nelson

39. “I would rather hit a bad shot and then try to recover than hit a good shot and stand around waiting for something bad to happen.” – Curtis Strange

40. “I’ve had more ups and downs on the golf course than most people will experience in a lifetime.” – Jack Nicklaus”

41. “I don’t care who wins, as long as we win together.” – Arnold Palmer

42. “A man who plays golf is never out of order.” – Herbert Warren Wind

43. “I’ve been fortunate to have won many tournaments, but I’ve lost more than I’ve won. I’ve lost more than anyone else has ever lost, including myself.” – Johnny Miller

44. “I’ll tell you this much, I hate losing. But I love winning even more.” – Ben Crenshaw

45. “I’ve learned that if you want to learn anything, read about it before you attempt it.” – Ben Hogan

46. “I really believe that the secret of life lies hidden in the simplicity of the game of golf.” – Bob Hope

47. “The greatest pleasure of my life is watching other men play golf.” – Gene Sarazen

48. “My father taught me to play golf. He said, ‘Son, if you’re going to do it, do it right.’ So I did.” – Jack Nicklaus

49. “Golf is a game where you can lose your temper, but you can’t lose your head.” – Walter Hagen (on being called names by opponents)

50. “I always felt that I was lucky to be able to play golf at all. I didn’t think I was very good at it.” – Gary Player

51. “I don’t know why they call it golf. It’s just plain fun.” – Babe Zaharias

52. “I’ve got a lot of irons in the fire. One day I might be lucky enough to put one of them into the hole.” – Jim Furyk

53. “Golf is an art form which requires no talent whatsoever.” – Arnold Palmer

54. “Golf is not a matter of life or death. It’s much more important than that.” – Cary Middlecoff

55. “You can’t teach a person to play golf; you can only help him along the way.” – Ben Hogan

56. “When I get up in the morning, I look forward to playing golf because it’s the only time I feel completely relaxed.” – George Archer

57. “There are two kinds of golfers: those who play well when things are going wrong, and those who play badly when everything goes right.” – Peter Thomson

58. “I’m not a golfer. Golf is a hobby. My job is to work hard every day and earn money to pay for my hobbies.” – Lee Trevino

59. “If you’re going to play golf, play it well.” – Bobby Jones

60. “I am a golfer first and foremost, and I like to play golf best.” – Arnold Palmer

Best Hilarious Quotes About Golf

61. “It’s a great feeling to sink a putt from 50 feet away.” – Phil Mickelson

62. “I’d rather play golf with someone who doesn’t know how to play golf than someone who does.” – Arnold Palmer

63. “I’d rather be lucky than good.” – Arnold Palmer

64. “I’ve played against some pretty good players, but I’ve never played against anybody better than I am.” – Arnold Palmer

65. “I’ve played a lot of golf, but I’ve never met a single player who could beat me on any given day.” – Arnold Palmer

66. “I’ve had a lot of ups and downs in my career, but I’ve never changed my swing.” – Arnold Palmer

67. “I’ve played over 100 rounds of golf in my life, but I’ve never seen a ball hit as straight as mine.” – Arnold Palmer

68. “I’ve never met a man who could out-drive me.” – Arnold Palmer

69. “I have been fortunate to win many tournaments, but I have also lost quite a few. The most difficult thing about golf is learning to accept defeat gracefully.” – Arnold Palmer

70. “I’ve often thought that the difference between a successful golfer and a failed golfer is usually found in their attitude toward failure.” – Arnold Palmer

71. “I wish I were a bit younger so I could enjoy myself more.” – Arnold Palmer

72. “The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” – Arthur Loomis Todd

73. “The secret of success is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes.” – Napoleon Hill

74. “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain

75. “The hardest part of being a pro is keeping your ego in check.” – Jack Nicklaus

76. “The key to a long and happy marriage is to find something you both love to do together.” – Arnold Palmer

77. “The game isn’t worth a dime unless you lose.” – Bob Hope

78. “The only reason anyone would want to play golf is if he didn’t have anything else to do.” – Walter Hagen

79. “The only reason we go through all this nonsense is to keep our minds off the fact that we’re old.” – Sam Snead

80. “The only bad shot in golf is no shot at all.” – Ben Hogan

81. “The longer I live, the more convinced I become that one should always try to improve oneself by trying to learn something new.” – Albert Einstein

82. “The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.” – Marcus Aurelius

83. “The older I get, the harder I fall.” – Gary Player

84. “The only way to make sure you don’t miss the green is to aim at the hole.” – Willie Anderson

85. “There are two rules of golf: 1) Don’t break the course; 2) If you break the course, don’t tell anyone.” – Bobby Jones

86. “There are three kinds of golfers: those who can count, those who can’t, and those who won’t.” – George Plimpton

87. “There are two ways to succeed: One is by luck, the other is by determination.” – Thomas A. Edison

88. “There’s nothing like a little competition to spice up an ordinary round of golf.” – Jimmy Demaret

89. “There’s no such thing as a free lunch. There’s just a free dinner.” – Frank Sinatra

90. “They may call it a game, but it’s really a business.” – Babe Ruth

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